this · is · my · thought · crime...

out of madness, comes truth....

i will be with her some day..
she will see me, some day.
our feelings will touch, some day....

...

and they will all know how i love.

...well.. fuck i am an idiot. um... there is nothing again. abraham why you so dumb..? ...i want to go lay down in my bed. she is the pillow... o want the bed to soak me up.. lay deep in that bed.... it wont let me breathe anyways... just nothing.

i realy wanted the places that i thought i could go to... please hear me on this... i wanted to go there. but it feels as if people raped me of those things that could have made me feel happy.. someoen talk to me..... someone that i want.. someone that i need... talk to me of something that will inspire... instead of taking from me, all that i know i want... and more..

i was thinking about fifteen minutes ago.. and. and i want to know how another person would think.. an artist.. painter.. sketch artist.. sculptor... photographer... a filmographer.. musicians... i know at least one person in each art catagory.. but i dont know them. there was once a girl named stephanie that live close to me here in new york.. we hung out a few times and she told me that she liked to stay a child. children are innocent and fun in their personality.. i not saying that its bad to want to stay as a child.. but, no matter what, i feel that you will always run into a problem that you need to be older in mind, to fix. she was fun and everything.. she was not immature at all, either.. but she lacked the "want" to see and learn about deeper things like feelings and the heart... i want someone to tell me their heart.. this one time... if yo come to me in any way.. and tell me how you areinmind and heart... i will tell you all of me.. tell me how you see things... i am drifting out of my self without you.. i am falling out of my mind..



...ps.there is something about you that makes me think that you dont want me anymore... that you think it is useless...

look what i have become. and my. greatest gift to you... it is what i do not know about, yet..

it rained all day.. i remember when days used to rain after i had cryed... its past spring now.. why is it still raining..? its something from the past.. like the past.